Relocation Issues for Kids
Every year, one out of five American families move. One of
the most important issues to anyone with kids is their reaction
to the news that they're moving, and their adjustment to the
new home. Being informed is very important to children. One
of the worst mistakes we can make as adults is to assume that
kids don't care or won't understand the details. keeping them "in
the loop," consulting them about choices whenever possible,
and including them in the family game plan will work wonders
toward their adjustment.
Other factors depend on the child's age:
Preschool Children
Kids under the age of six may worry about being left behind,
or being separated from their parents. If you go on an orientation
or house-hunting trip beforehand without the children, it's
important to reassure kids this age that you will be back;
bring something unique back to them from the new town. It's
very important for them to express their feelings and fears
about the move. Give them a job to do -- have them be responsible
for boxing up their favorite toys, and "labeling" their
boxes with crayons and stickers.
Ages 6 to 12
Elementary age kids are usually most concerned with how the
everyday routines of their lives are going to change. Showing
them pictures, videos and magazines of their new home will
help a lot, especially if you can find new places in advance
for the things they like to do. If your children take dance
lessons, find and share information about the new dance studio
they can go to. If they take karate, or play soccer...even
if their favorite thing to do is go to the park or the pizza
parlor, find these places in your new neighborhood and get
brochures, pictures or videos.
Teenagers
These kids are most concerned with fitting in. They may react
angrily to the move, even insist they're not going. This
is usually due to the total lack of control they have over
everything important in their lives, friends, school and
jobs, being disrupted. These children can be very worried
about making new friends, and what will be different in the
new school. They are curious about the clothing, hairstyles,
bicycles, cars, etc. that kids in the new city will have.
Pictures of all these things are very helpful, so if you
take an orientation trip be sure to take many detailed photos/videos
of the schools they will be attending.
Other tips for making the transition
Give young children an entertaining travel kit for the move.
Give older children a diary for recording the trip and move.
Give children of all ages a special address book and stationary
set for keeping up with old friends.
Take videos of the new home if the kids won't get to see it
before the move. Arrive well before the movers so kids can
explore and become acquainted first.
Give children a chore to do, such as working on their room
(younger), supervising little siblings (middle), and painting
or arranging furniture (older kids).
Take a break with the family as soon as possible to explore
the museums, sights and recreation in your new city.
Arrange a visit to new schools and a meeting with the teacher
before the actual first day of attendance.
Encourage the children to bring new friends home.
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